ever so often we learn to accept our flaws as overbearing and inadequate, insufficient for any nobler greater purpose. But today i realize a deeper aspect to that truth of some extent, that there is always a counterpart to my insufficiency, and that is the One who is sufficient and more than enough.

The everlasting God, admist circumstances, He remains true. Our flaws are not merely obtained and enhanced through life, they've been ordained and purposed, despite what our circumstances say. God did not end all life after the failures of Adam and Eve, rather, He refined it. He did not intend ourselves to be without inadequacies and flaws. He expects them.

I'd learn through time how my weaknesses can be used for His glory but never had His Glory really become known to me. But its dawning upon me, that though my inadequacies are obstacles and hindrances for me, they're the release of bondages through Him. He doesn't intend for them to become weighty guilt measures nor sober reminders of our inadequacy. Instead, they're weightless before His eyes, for our worth is measured not in our deeds or thoughts but in His love for us.

Tonight i had a gentle awakening of the reality behind the present. The dysfunction is not behind my actions and decisions, it is of the perception riding. He intends all weakness to for reflect His strength, Hispower knows no limitations and therefore there need no worry in what takes place. The outcome has already been predestined , but the present can sometimes be overbearing in strength.


Lately my focus has been within my conscience, double checking and back stepping, unsure if my actions and thoughts are accurate and enough, afraid ive allowed my daily life to become a distraction. But, my actions are not the distraction, rather my fear of inadequacy and living up to whats appropriated is distracting me from the right path i've been on all along, His will for me and through me. Hes aware of my decisions and is not limited by them, nor is my destiny for He's been aware of my shortcomings and thoughts. His will is greater than our ways. Any self destructive sense is not of Him, for "perfect Love casts out all fear" and He is that perfect love.

the enemy is not in the circumstances . its behind the intentions of making me feel inadequate by them and thus temporarily hindered to carry on His will. But He is the great defender of weak and the bondages are breaking, broken, gone. By His love.

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being in the world removes me from the right state of mind.

find, values and thoughts i hadn't once tried to hide

But now peeking to surrender, defeated

from the world and its distorted view of I,

suffers the loss and the gain of identity



faithless ft. Cat Power - a kind Of Peace

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THERES A BITTERNESS STRUGGLING TO REMAIN INANE BUT

i cant help but find many reasons to spark, gain

in this ridiculous complaint

a righteous chase.



i st myself up for disappointments i never find the time to experience.



and i always thought the worse was over, and yet i find the best has passed.

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"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth,

And let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth.

Walk in the ways(*impulses) of your heart,

And in the sight of your eyes;

God will bring you into judgment.

Therefore, remove sorrow (*vexation) from your heart,

Ad put away evil from your flesh,

For childhood and youth(*prime of life) are vanity(*but a breath of air)
Ecc.11:9



"Look to the rock from which you were hewn

And to the hole of the pit from which you were dug"

John 48:6
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"The Lord will comfort all her waste places;

He will make her wilderness like Eden"

Isiah 51

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it is hard to defy what was attached to me eighteen years, the knowledge to follow intuitions and the individual self, mind. But there is a greater calling born before those eighteen years and a greater Spirit to follow, Him.

They say to live life is to live by the day, to take advantage of life before death claims its right. But to really live is to die, a death that is beyond the usual connotations of death, a death that is truly rebirth. A sacrifice of life for life.

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once in a while, you can place yourself outside your eyes and watch your pupils

dilate.

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just wondering if i am the only one wondering a thought that came upon me when only oxygen stood between us.

How about when two shades of brown meets to become four?

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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